• Teddy and Me
• A loud, short South African lady
• Canadian Man Steve and his Canadian Girlfriend Steph (these are not pseudonyms)
• Brett (an American) and Ilsa (another South African)
• Chris, an American, who came to Korea to marry and have kids
• and a random American lady who I swear was in her fifties who just tagged on. 

Sawn-off soda bottle

Waking up the next day with a mild hangover wasn't aided by the fact that there was an African in our dorm who snored like a rusty machine gun. I think he actually woke me up when I saw him cross-legged in his bunk, eyes closed and Bible open on his lap muttering some incantations. 

We decided to do the tourist circuit by visiting the Gyeongbokgung and Changdeokgung Palaces. For some reason there were plenty of locals wandering these palaces in traditional garb though. The same case held in the small, winding traditional town of Bukchon Hanok Village, where artists lived in antique cramped houses whose rents surely exceeded their incomes. After such a long day of sightseeing, we bunkered down for some Korean soup; Teddy was game enough to try the chicken ginseng soup, but I opted for something less exotic as I was still traumatised by the Mystery Bowls of Cambodia.

It was here too that a Korean girl asked for my number because she "felt very favoured for me" and thought I was "100% Korean". The irony is that Teddy's Korean was far better than mine as he knew more phrases and could read the characters quite naturally. I was restricted to phrases like "Thank You", "Excuse Me", "Dirty", "Toilet", "Please give me another one", and by extension, "Please give me another dirty toilet".

The first of the nightlife districts we visited was Insadong, where local girls fell in love with Teddy and his impressive handling of the language. We were given a good piece of advice in Korea to join the line whenever there was a long queue for food. Our first attempt ended up quite badly when we got odeng (fish cakes on skewers), of which Teddy only had one bite before throwing in the towel. Our subsequent attempts were much better, especially after holduck (thick, hot, and sweet pancakes) and some chicken skewers. The latter was so spicy that I actually burst into tears and had to rush to the closest 7-Eleven for some water.

Myeongdong was the upscale shopping district with a sea of people moving under the influence of consumerism. In contrast was the Namdaemun Market, which was your standard Asian flea market for the plebs.

What was more enjoyable out of these excursions though was just being able to talk with Teddy about a range of different things despite how cold it was outside. We were clocking some serious walking kms, and walking along the Cheonggyecheon Stream at night watching other people get their portraits drawn and pushing paper lanterns down the current was like a scene straight out of a Richard Linklater movie.

We seriously underestimated how technically challenging this hike was going to be. Never mind the fact that everyone else on the trails was at least sixty years old, there was some climbing with your hands against sheer walls necessary to summit this bad boy. I don't know how the grandpas and grandmas did it, as they all used hiking poles to overcome the vertical walls.

There were many times we could've gotten lost, but a grandpa was particularly kind enough to guide us to where we were supposed to go after exchanging some sign language. For some reason everyone was also playing some mysterious electronic folk music coming out of their hip radios, but I think this may be part of the Korean retiree past-time. It made the whole hike feel like we were in a Pokemon game.

This was probably the most glorious day of all. After that beast of a hike, we decided to spend the night at a Korean spa. After the initial weirdness of being completely naked around middle-aged men, we spent a glorious night jumping in various hot baths and saunas, lathering up and exfoliating, then literally rinse-and-repeating. 

There were different "fomentation rooms" as well, like lying in a 50 degree room filled with salt or little ceramic Hoess balls, in addition to having a restaurant, gym, PC room, barber, etc.

We fell asleep in these tight rectangular capsules, but I had to move in the middle of the night because a snorer made his bed adjacent to mine. When I woke up the next morning, I found out Teddy had disappeared. This caused me a bit of worry at first, and I went around the whole room whispering his name and trying to see if any of the legs sticking out of the capsules resembled those of a hairy white man. With no luck, I decided to wait out the next few hours by the entrance to the sleeping quarters.

It then came time for the cleaning staff to evict everyone one, and I was getting excited since I would finally be reunited with Teddy. The last person to come out however was this Korean guy with the body of a sumo wrestler and bits of tissue stuck up both nostrils. I could only assume that this was the snorer himself.

Anyway, it turned out that Teddy thought I had disappeared, and had gone down for a morning dip. No dramas, and joined in one myself, making sure that I left feeling like I had had my skin reupholstered.

Alex from uni had graciously hooked us up with his mate Wonho (and Wonho's mate Antonio), whom we met after checking out the National Museum of Korea. They were very hospitable (and for engineering students, extremely fashionable) and despite the language barrier, we had a good time where they taught us about the cardinal rules of mixing beer with fried chicken, and soju with spicy chicken feet (this would later spice up our arseholes, and cause Teddy to block the toilets at the hostel).


On a more serious note, they explained the stressful Korean lifestyle, and how they both longed to escape from it. Apparently it is standard practice to work 12 hours a week, and they told us how they only had time to meet up with their girlfriends once or twice a month. In fact we were even more gracious for their time since Wonho told us that his girlfriend was pissed at him for choosing to take us out rather than spend time with her.


It also put things into perspective when they said suicide was the biggest killer of young Koreans in our age bracket, which is understandable since they begin applying the pressure as early on as primary school where the competition to get into a good high school begins.

In any case, it was great to chat with and to be shown around by "real Koreans", and to witness the stressful cross-section of life they were experiencing compared to us. We definitely made some good friends that night sharing our stories, and I look forward to returning the hospitality when they come to Sydney.

N Seoul Tower & Hongdae

I got really sick that night to the point that I was shivering in bed, and I kept having to wake up in the middle of the night to cough up some near-solid chunks of phlegm. It wasn't helped too that our African mate in the dorm had been joined by African No 2, and together they presented a formidable snoring tag team which ensured that sleep was as scarce as possible.

My midday, I was fortunately feeling well enough and we hiked up a nice autumnal forest to the N Seoul Tower on the peak of a hill for some great views of the city. We were treated to some traditional swordsmanship and probably the largest concentration of tourists we've seen during our stay.

We also moved accommodation from Itaewon to the hip, student suburb of Hongdae. I definitely preferred this area to Itaewon, just because it oozed youthful energy and a more authentic buzz. So it's this Korean thing to wear matching shoes or outfits if you're a couple, and there was definitely more of this happening around. I think it's kind of cute. 

Teddy and I stumbled upon some awesome vintage shops and I spent the most money during my stay at these stores. It was like the thrift store that I'd always wanted, stocked with good quality gear and great brands, and we were surprised when the shopkeeper said that they sourced all their stuff from Pakistan. In my mind, I was already booking flights to there.

I also really enjoyed the nightlife, and we were willing to brave the cold for another night to check out these small pubs tucked away which needed a fine eye and some good fortune to discover. Although the drinks were nothing special, the atmosphere and the chats certainly were.

Alas, my time in Seoul was coming to an end, and it was a shame that I only got to spend a day together with Grace, who arrived on my last day. It was a great way to go out, as we had lunch with one of her mates from uni, then headed out to the Korean War Museum to read up on some honestly cool military history. 

We spent our last night in Hongdae being rascals, being too loud in restaurants, and challenging strangers on the street to rap battles. The Korean trip definitely made for a great getaway, and it surpassed my expectations in the few days I was there. As always, I was lucky to have had a great travel companion to experience a city whose every facade was made up of either granite, glass, or plastic surgery, and I'll miss all the times he played kitschy pop music out of his phone. The in-jokes and especially the increasingly elaborate would-you-rathers were things I found myself wanting to share, only to remember that I was on a plane home by myself surrounded by possessed children and a cloud of recycled aeroplane air.

It seems appropriate that Teddy lent me Seneca's On the Shortness of Life, and although I would disagree that the purpose of life is studying philosophy, I'd agree that we lose so much in life to pointless pursuits. Especially after hearing about the Korean work-life balance, it really makes you think about all the time that we so willingly squander away to pointless pursuits. In the six days I had in Korea to breathe and relax, it definitely made me think about how I could better "use" my life, and I'm glad I could start by making each one of those days count. Here's to the future then and to a long and fulfilled life. Or as the Koreans would say, "Geonbae".