I humbly report to you from the 3rd Class of the State Railway of Thailand, as we pummel towards the southern islands on an overnight train. The six of us are weary but still wary of the train gollums, otherwise known as the locals who live in the cramped darkness of the luggage compartment and feed on stolen belongings. Lasting thirteen hours, we'll sleeping on the train overnight, although I don't know if much sleeping will be done or if we'll just have our eyes wide open and our arms clasped around our luggage.

So we leave Chiang Mai, and the relative calm and comfort it's afforded us. I really like this city, but I don't know if that was just because Bangkok was such a cesspit. The city was the capital of a kingdom in the medieval era, and it's very delightful in itself but also because there's no need for bartering. There are still scammers around Chiang Mai though, who approach us with a friendly smile and asking us where we're from, before telling us that they coincidentally have family in Germany or Australia. Their knowledge our countries is actually quite commendable, but we have to remember that their true intentions are to see our wallets are lighter.

It's also boggling how old some of these structures are. One of the temples in town, Wat Chedi Luang, was built in the 14th century, and there was a temple at the top of a montain (Wat Phra That Doi Kham) from where we watched sunset that was built in the 7th century. I try to picture this city with its perfect square walls intact, surrounded by jungles on all sides. And they would have been built the same time that the old churches and castles in Europe would have been too. In the same way though, the temples are starting to become routine, and hence lose their charm. We had a discussion whether they filled us with any sense of spirituality at all, or if they were just unnecessarily ornate.

One of the cooler things we did was walk into a school in the middle of the day and had lunch at their cafeteria. One of the sadder things though is seeing all these stray dogs loafing around the streets. We also have illnesses of our own. Jakob is now just a combustion machine of diarrhoea, after Chris tagged out of the ring. Lenny and Michael have sore throats from all the Sam Song Whisky they buy from 7 Eleven, and I have a hacking cough that won't go away. Felix seems to be immune for now, but he probably has malaria or something. No one gets away unscathed from Thailand.






The highlight of our trip to Chiang Mai would have to be elephant trekking. This was something the group battled with, since we established from the start that we would only go with a camp that treated their elephants humanely. At the same time though, as ethics increase, so does the price. We ultimately settled on a company that rescued elephants from the worse camps, and allowed them to "retire" by running treks, with our money going towards their wellbeing.

We were driven out for 1.5 hours into a rural paradise, nested in a lush valley that shimmered in different shades of green. We fed them bananas and in return I guess it was only fair that they walked around with two of us on their backs up and down the hillside. We bathed them as well in a pond where their turds would float to the surface, scrubbing their parched leathery skin until it was time for them to live out the rest of their happy retirement away from these tourists.

There were still sadder aspects of the trip, when it was clear that some of the elephants were still suffering from their past. One of the hardest things that you just have to do in developing countries is to turn away from the horrid conditions a lot of the animals face. For example, in the city they would sell birds in bamboo cages no larger than the size of your fist. However, the elephant trekking was a very memorable experience, and in addition to the education they shared with us it left overall a very positive impact.





Of course, no destination is exempt from our obnoxious party antics. On two nights (when we weren't dying from food poisoning) we hit up Zoe In Yellow, the local party district. The clubs in Chiang Mai closed at 12 due to government regulations, so that meant we had to make the most out of every minute. We would start every night with some great live music at a reggae bar, before hitting the dance floor. There was a strobe that would flash for ten minutes, making us dance via epilepsy. Otherwise, between tequila shots, Michael and I would entertain ourselves by by convincing strangers that the other was a lady boy. For some reason, a local girl became more endeared with him despite that knowledge, and wouldn't let go of him for ages. It didn't put her off either the fact that he was wearing wristbands saying "Big Nipple" and "I'm a Virgin".